Sometimes it feels like you cannot change your child’s behavior so try focusing on changing your own behavior instead. For this, use “I messages”. This only works in certain situations, though, but can be an extremely effective tool. “I messages” are about controlling your own…
If offered in certain ways, choices are very beneficial to children. First, choices give a child a sense of control or empowerment over his life. Second, the child gradually learns to exercise his muscles of problem solving. This skill will benefit him in situations when you…
Help! My child’s bedroom is very messy. Step 1: Rotate toys to minimize the number in the play area Look at the number of toys your child has. When they are strewn all over the floor, do you feel overwhelmed? Chances are your child…
To get your child to listen to your instructions, focus on what you want your child to do, not on what you don’t want your child to do. Children hear and process what you keep saying. ~ If you keep bringing up what you don’t…
Your child won’t listen? There are a couple more things to do when a child won’t listen. For levels 1, 2 and 3, see “HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN- POSITIVE TALK” and “HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN- INFORMATION/FEELINGS”. LEVEL 4 Asking…
According to Myrna Shure’s “Raising a Thinking Child,” there are four levels of asking a child for the behavior you want. ~ Level 1: Negative interactions: yelling, belittling, shaming, etc. Level 2: Saying what you want positively. Level 3: Giving information or talking about feelings.…
LEVEL 3 Please see “HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN-POSITIVE TALK” for levels one and two. Give Information At this stage, you can give your child information so they understand why you want them to cooperate. Examples: “When flowers are stepped on, they die.” “Milk…
HOW TO AVOID BEDTIME BATTLES Help! How do I get my kids to go to bed? It can be really frustrating to get your child to go bed sometimes, especially after a long and tiring day. Follow these ideas for a smoother bedtime ritual. Step…
Before your child has a new experience, tell her a social story about the upcoming activity. Explain to your child what is about to happen. There are many benefits of telling a child what to expect beforehand. The child is not confused about what will…
ROLE MODELS Children need role models to show them how to behave in specific situations. They also absorb the behavior they see from others in every day life or in videos. Very young children need direct guidance to know how to behave in…
When children resist your requests, there are a variety of parenting tools you can use. Sometimes it is wise to give children limited choices. Other times it works to use “I Messages”. And sometimes you can set boundaries using the 3 step method outlined below.…
Always give your child a two-minute warning when you are about to change venues. This gives the child time to bring closure to what he is doing. Imagine that you are at a cocktail party. You can’t find anyone to talk to at first, but…
Whining can be an ongoing irritant in the background. What can you do to make your child stop whining? Step 1) Make sure your child understands what whining means. Demonstrate a whining voice to your child and then show him how to ask for things…
YOU WIN YOU LOSE ME WIN Win/Win Win/Lose ME LOSE Lose/Win Lose/Lose According to Stephen Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” there are five ways to resolve a conflict with someone. There are four options in the chart…
You ask your child to clean his room, and the result is tears, frustration, or tantrums. There are many things you can do to prevent this response. It is essential that you understand that children have cognitive limitations in organizing and to work within those…