Is your child being bullied? Is she too passive with others? How can you make sure your child is not someone else’s doormat? Is your child bullying others? How can you teach them to rein in aggressive tendencies so they don’t hurt or alienate others? Teach…
Resolving Conflicts
A parent’s goal should be to teach our children how real life works. In real life, we experience the consequences of our behavior. For example, when we don’t pay our phone bill, the company cuts off our service. Your kids need to learn these consequences…
HOW TO AVOID BEDTIME BATTLES Help! How do I get my kids to go to bed? It can be really frustrating to get your child to go bed sometimes, especially after a long and tiring day. Follow these ideas for a smoother bedtime ritual. Step…
Children who bite, hit and scratch often need to work on the following skills: language, self-awareness and emotional self-regulation. As a parent, you can help by giving your child more attention, reducing screen time and learning more about developmentally appropriate expectations. Kids often fight and…
Children fight because they often don’t have the vocabulary or skills to negotiate conflict. They also have a harder time calming themselves down to use those skills in the heat of the fight. If they have ways to cope with conflict in their mind beforehand, they…
There are 6 steps to use when children’s fighting escalates. For more information, read Becky Bailey’s wonderful book Conscious Discipline. Ryan hits Jacob. Step 1: Attend to Jacob first (see the article “Assertiveness or Bullyproofing Your Child”) but then focus on Ryan. Step 2: Say…
Sometimes you see your kids fighting over a toy and you don’t know what happened before you got to the fight. You don’t know who should get the toy. For those times, you can try having them play rock-paper-scissors or have them flip a coin…
The following is a widely known positive problem solving approach. Everyone must first cool off. A few days after the event and after everyone has calmed down, the family can brainstorm positively and then choose solutions. After a period of time, the family checks back…
SUMMARY: Rewarding and punishing children as a way of getting a child to behave comes at a steep price. Instead of rewarding and punishing your child, become familiar with what children are developmentally capable of and learn more effective interactive strategies. Using rewards and punishment…
When children resist your requests, there are a variety of parenting tools you can use. Sometimes it is wise to give children limited choices. Other times it works to use “I Messages”. And sometimes you can set boundaries using the 3 step method outlined below.…