Self-regulation is a deep, internal mechanism that underlies mindful, intentional, and thoughtful behaviors of children. Self-regulated children can delay gratification, stop themselves from doing something inappropriate, and consider more appropriate alternatives.
There is a big difference between children who behave well because they are controlled or regulated by others and those who are internally regulated.
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An adult figure can demand compliance, and the behavior might, in that moment, look fine. But the difference in children will show up. The regulated child might act out or have tantrums when an adult is not around because he doesn’t know how to behave, is angry about all the control, or the methods of controlling him are developmentally inappropriate. Other externally regulated children may remain compliant but not have much confidence. They also won’t have the skill sets to make decisions. These children may become passive followers.
The skills in the articles on this website will move your child towards internal self-regulation and improved behavior.
